Super quick tip today: Spend time apart.
Many couples think that to deepen their connection, they need to spend more time together. I disagree. The key is to spend quality time together, and create a support framework that means you each get at least 4 consecutive hours every week to have time apart. That means you can leave the house, and know that shit is being taken care of.
BUT WE HAVE CHILDREN! AND JOBS! AND THINGS!
It truly takes a village, not just to raise a child, but to be a happy healthy human.
If you don't have the capacity to have 4 hours to yourself each week, it is a red flag to me that you don't have a sufficient support network in your life. And that's a conversation we ought to have.
Yes, it's hard to ask for help, and you feel like you can't. But what if you're making that up in your head? And if true deep connection and friendship is built on asking for support? And if time apart would change everything?
WHAT WOULD I DO WITH 4 HOURS?
This is wonderful! You get to explore the world, and discover things you like!
I recommend you leave the house. This means you are mentally focused on whatever you are doing and not distracted by home. It also means your partner has the opportunity to be at home without you (or with the kids) and to be themselves.
Here are some things that my clients like to do with their 4 hours;
- Have a beauty or wellness treatment (a massage)
- Go to the beach
- Read in a cafe, the library, or somewhere in nature
- Take a picnic blanket somewhere and paint or draw
- Go to the gym, go for a run, do yoga, get moving!
- Spend time with friends or family
- Take up a creative class or workshop
- Have a long soak in the bath and read a book
- Potter in the garden or garage
- Jam with friends
- Go surfing
- Play golf
BTW, this is NOT time to catch up on errands or chores, okay? It is time to fill your cup. Let me know what you get up to, and any challenges you are having. Let's make this happen!