The 3 Inputs

🧭 How to Use This Page

This blog is designed a bit differently. Instead of giving you big ideas and saving the "how" for a product pitch at the end, I like to walk you through the process step-by-step—with practical tools you can actually use. Think of it like a workbook in blog form: hands-on, reflective, and designed to support real insight.

You’ll find:

  • 💡 Reflection prompts woven throughout, which you can sit with quietly or journal through—whatever suits your style

  • 📝 Exercises to guide you through specific steps, practices, or processes

  • đŸ› ïž Tools and worksheets to help you go deeper——some are free, some are paid

  • 📄 Reference sheets for quick, printable overviews of key ideas that go beyond what’s covered in the blog

  • 👣 Optional next steps at the end, if you'd like to work with me directly

You can dip in or dive deep. No need to “do it right”—the way you engage is the right way for right now. My goal is to make the ideas doable—not just understandable. (And if you’re overthinking that, hi. You’re among friends.)

Table of Contents

    📖  Start Here: Know What You Want

    If I’ve sent you to this page, it’s because we’ve been talking about something important—
    whether you’re unsure about staying or leaving, questioning compatibility, or wondering if this person is truly someone you want.

    The aim of these resources is to help you:

    • Discover your personal preferences, needs, and desires

    • Explore your zones of flexibility

    • Begin conversations that are curious and generative—not all-or-nothing

     

    This helps you move beyond “Can I live with this?” into “What do I want to create, and is this person someone I can build that with?”

    Mind: The Cognitive System

    Soul: The Spiritual System

    X: The Sexual System

    Body: The Nervous System

    1. Nervous System Reset
    2. Hygiene
    3. First Aid
    4. Vagus 101
    • But how do I stop feeling like this?
    • I feel like I'm losing my mind
    I glitched on this because I wanted to tell you ALL THE THINGS... but I might have to start with just a few if that's okay!
    I think what is happening for you is layered, and multi-faceted.
    Firstly, Because you have been so stressed & distressed for an extended period of time, your nervous system has become dysregulated. In a nutshell, it's 'stuck' in a sympathetic nervous system response to the world. Here is some explanation of that
    This is the place you need to start, by teaching your nervous system that the world is sometimes safe so you can "get some relief". It's not so scary as it sounds, actually this part can be quite simple once you know how to do it!
    What works best for me when I am at my lowest is to start with more 'passive' strategies, and to try to do some more active things when I have spoons. BUT not before I have spoons, because using too many spoons will engage your sympathetic nervous system again. The literal opposite. That is to say, when folks suggest doing more to feel better, they're fucking wrong in this instance.
    When you're choosing strategies make sure you consider two criteria;
    a) it works.
    b) you like it/ it feels easy or accessible/ you're able to do it.
    Like, meditation is a great strategy, I fucking hate it, I've never managed to maintain a practice, therefore it isn't a great approach for me! The best strategy is the one you actually do.
    EASIEST/PASSIVE STRATEGIES
    • Deep pressure. Like a weighted blanket, a person laying on you, a pet laying on you, I like to use a 2.5kg weight plate on my chest where it feels comfortable.
    • Acupressure mat. This is spiky as fuck, but I've been lying on one before bed lately and started having REALLY GOOD sleep! I use the "spoonk" brand but there's a bunch out there.
    • Gargle. This also helps to stimulate your vagus nerve which helps to down regulate your nervous system. Try to build to 20-30 seconds one or two times a day.
    • Damiana Tea. I call it happy tea. Folks say it's supposed to be an aphrodisiac, but it just makes me feel better! I just order online. James makes it for me when I'm spiraling (cause I forget it helps) and it really takes the edge off.
    • Jilungin Dreaming Tea. This is the bomb for a good nights sleep! I have shit loads if you want to pop over and grab a sample.
    • Passionflower Drops. These are great for sleep, but also for dialing down your body when it feels escalated or anxious.
    TAKES A BIT MORE EFFORT
    • There's a bunch of things that help regulate your nervous system, the best information IMHO is from https://www.instagram.com/repairing_the_nervous_system/?hl=en she also has a course she runs.
    • Non-linear movement. Short sessions daily are really powerful to help reset your nervous system, process emotional backlog, and get back into your body. We did some of this together, happy to revisit if you like!
    • Meditation, singing, humming, chanting, are all really great.
    Secondly,
    Once you feel a bit better nervous system wise, you can start to look at what might be causing the nervous system dysregulation. It's most likely that it is a combination of a few of the following things. I have discovered that my underlying health conditions are large factors, and when there is a confluence of external stressors AND some fuckery from the underlying things, I'm most likely to 'crash' or 'spiral'. There's no one trigger, it's just a bunch of small planets line up and BAM.
     
    You could consider;
    • Sensory Defensiveness. This book is rad.
    • ADHD
    • Trauma history
    • Hormones. This book is rad.
    • Depression. Some folks are prone more to depression, my personal flavour that most commonly comes areound is known as 'anhedonia'. It sucks, but all the strategies I'm telling you about help to make it happen less, last for shorter periods, not get as bad, and feel less distressing.
    • Gut Health. It's REALLY common for gut health to CAUSE some of the feels you're having as well as to BE CAUSED by your immune responses. It's a bidirectional relationship. This would be a great path to pursue with your naturopath.
    • Lifestyle factors - like work, relationship/s, stress, health, illness, moving house and on and on it goes...
    Then you start a slow baby-steps process of making very small changes in one of those realms. There's no need to address 'it all' (even though you will want to, and try to, its a TRAP and will make you feel worse!). Each layer of input when slowly regulated helps contribute to overall improvement of your health and happiness.
    Some strategies I use;
    • ADHD meds, saved my life, for reals.
    • earplugs (loops and also overear bose ones. I alternate cause they both annoy me after a while).
    • Journaling. Its actually one of the best things to do with loads of evidence backed research and my own anecdotal support! I try to do 20 minutes most weeks. I type cause I hate handwriting but whatever works.
    • Talk therapy. Lady, you need to feel heard & validated. And talking about things REALLY helps. Here are some super rad folk; Niamh, Karen, Katelyn. I have personally had sessions with them all (Niamh is my new supervisor, not counsellor) and they are all fucking wonderful.
    • Supplements. (see below).
    • Rest. Genuinely. Right now, exercise that is stimulating is a bad idea. Chill things like gentle strolls or things that don't raise your heart rate much should be the absolute limit for you for a while. For reals.
    Here are some suggestions for simple low-risk supplements that may help w/ energy & motivation. They should all help with both physical available energy, as well as with any brain fog or lack or mental energy. You can take them daily forever.
    Tyrosine- this is an amino acid that your body uses as a building block for dopamine. And dopamine is the get-shit-done, feel motivated, feel reward neurotransmitter. Having more availability of this building block helps dopamine production & release.
    Tyrosine may slightly raise your heart rate so keep an eye on that.
    You should be able to order this pretty easily - get whatever form is easiest for you to take powder, capsules etc) most people prefer capsules. Take 150mg per kg of body weight daily.
    D-ribose - helps (among other things) with energy production
    I’m all about making life easier so I’ve found a product that combines these for you (you’re welcome đŸ’Ș) it’s called Swiss Bioenergetics “CardioDefence”. You can get it on Amazon. I usually buy mine all separately from a bulk nutrients supplier but it’s also super annoying to measure & mix powders every day so capsules are great for that.
    These are all low risk supplements, BUT definitely check with your naturopath who may also make you some kind of lovely licorice/withania/passionflower liquid to help relax. If you only pick one, make it the saffron & tyrosine. It’s the best.
    Anyways, that's a lot to start with!
    Here are some resources to provide immediate support for you, my heart aches to see you feeling so low (and hopefully this will help);
    • If you can make a class with Michaela I think it would be wonderful for you, she is running an online class that would be 2pm on Wednesday for you, you can book here Non-Linear Movement Method Class
    • A book I think would be very useful is Burnout by Emily & Amelia Nagoski.
    • Some super helpful herbs; Adrenal support herbs like withania/ashwaganda or rhodiola, drinking damiana tea, and passionflower drops. They are all low risk herbs for nervous system support (though I'm not sure how it is to buy them in Rio, ideally you would see a naturopath. But also when you get back to Australia you can get them super easily in chemists.
    Today was primarily about the “mine” realm, more specifically about how to reset your nervous system.This is vital for your ongoing physical, mental, and emotional health. Your heart rate variability as measured by your watch and represented by the “stress” stats is a tangible way for you to measure your progress. I’d like to see you moving towards “blue” when you’re resting, whether that’s overnight while you sleep, or at other times during the day.

     

    Given you’re an achievement driven “Do-er” I think a 'bottom up' active approach will be most helpful. All of the suggestions below are most effective in small daily doses. Like, a 2 minute daily breath practice is far more effective than 30 minutes once a week (or month)!
    1. Wim Hof breathing. At a minimum, try the breathing method in this video for as many rounds as you feel comfortable with. You can start with one round and progress. If you want to feel like you're working hard and applying yourself, his short and longer courses would be great for you. the breathing exercises in combination with yoga & strength will both meet that need while still focusing on shifting your body into a parasympathetic, or rest, response. That's in direct contrast with other forms of exercise that you're doing which have great benefits but potentially are keeping you in that 'stress' state physically. It's fine when you are also able to switch modes for recovery but your depleted & stressed nervous system isn't doing that so well right now.
    2. Movement Koan Method. This is specifically designed to help you become more aware of sensation & messages for your body. That awareness is what helps you find the appropriate scale of response between "none" and "more than 100%" where you currently operate. It also increases bodily sensitivity, and is vital for intimacy and pleasure. You have a link to download the video in the email I sent you (initial session resources).
    3. Supplements. Ideally, you can see a biomedical naturopath who can interpret blood results (which you may need to have done elsewhere) and check the levels of vitamins and minerals. Chronic stress can really fuck with those things and sometimes supplementation can help shift your body back into balance. I highly recommend CK Health. They're based here in Newcastle, but also do Zoom. In addition, a daily supplement like saffron can be great to ward off depression, and adaptogens like withania & rhodiola support your nervous system too. I usually recommend this particular brand, but I'm sure you can find something similar. The kava is a great start.
    4. Active rest. This is not meditation. I recommend non-sleep deep rest (known otherwise as yoga nidra). This is a good video for that, but if you search for yoga nidra and/or non sleep deep rest on spotify or youtube there are many options. Find someone whose voice & vibes you like! This is another great activity to shift into "blue" whether you catch a ten minute window during the day, or before going to sleep.

    Resources

    Supplements & Herbs

    damiana

    Pray

    What?

    burnout

    jessica mcguire

    tyrosine, passionflower, damiana, rescue remedy, herbs of gold 'stress ease', chamomile tea, lavender,

    Heart: The Emotional System

    I hate hearing you've been feeling anxiety with no respite, it's absolute hell. I remember being so flooded with cortisol that any small surprise would tip me into full anxiety. I'm so sorry this is happening.
    I have a lot of thoughts & opinions on this, and also a shit tonne of lived experience so Imma share a bunch of things and you can do with them what you will! I have no attachment to wanting you to use them or for them to work. Just know how hard it is to navigate.
    1. Depression or anxiety are biopsychosocial. They are mostly addressed as psychological phenomenon located within an individual, which is gaslighting and victim blaming. Just nope. In order to effectively reset those states requires doing some work with all three aspects; biological, psychological, and social.
    2. Biological. I'll attempt to make this a paragraph instead of a thesis...

      The path that was most helpful for me to reset my body from anxiety was to focus mostly on this. It felt tangible and measurable.

      This was about understanding the way the nervous system and brain interact. I won't say things about that, but the person I point to with the clearest explanations of this is Jessica Macguire on Instagram. She has also recently released a great book.

      3. Social. This is the broader contextual influence on our wellness. Here's the reference I use with my clients. Context PDF. In a nutshell, if you aren't feeling worried then are you even paying attention? We're not designed for this protracted kind of worrying. Our bodies are actually doing what they're designed to do! Keep us alert and safe to danger. Some of the things I had to really grapple with here were around my identity (if I'm not doing, or being productive, am I a valuable human? When I'm resting, am I actually just being lazy? Is there something actually wrong with me? Or am I just not trying hard enough?) as well as other social, familial, cultural, political messaging about what it means to be 'anxious' or 'depressed' or 'burned out'.

      This is an intensely personal facet, we have all internalised quite different messages and unpacking them is different for each of us. Having said that, one of my favourite educators Emily Nagoski & her sister Amelia Nagoski wrote a brilliant book that covers off the heavy hitters; Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle. There's also a really great episode of 10% Happier that interviews them.

      4. Psychological. I put this off for too long... cause I thought I knew all the things and find it annoying to hear naff suggestions. AND when I actually knuckled down to find the right therapist it was so healing to be heard and validated. And to be able to say out loud, unfiltered, all the things that are happening for me. I don't like to tell people how dark the feelings get, or how overwhelmed I can be, because then I feel like I need to reassure THEM or elaborate or explain which utterly defeats the purpose! Also, knowing that I paid them for their time allowed me to speak about things for a very long time, taking up more space than I ordinarily would. I'm glad you're doing this.

    But actually I really wanted to share some of the simplest, cheapest, lowest energy interventions that helped my body anxiety. The primary goal, is to teach your body that it is safe again, to down regulate the heightened alertness and to create a reinforcing loop not of stress but of ease. So, small daily frequent moments of true relaxation help with this.
    Ideally you have some way to measure whether this is helping. I have found my Garmin Lily watch to be invaluable (lots of Garmin watches have this function at varying price points). The 'body battery' is very accurate for me and is a good guide to how to approach a day (if it's high I can do big things, if it's low, I rest much more). It also has a stress measure which was insanely eye opening for me. What I realised was that when I thought I was 'resting' my body was still in stress mode. Like I could literally be laying comfortably just chilling and my body is responding like I'm cleaning or gardening. It was really valuable to be able to see in real time which things were ACTUALLY switching me from a sympathetic to a parasympathetic nervous system response.
    1. Damiana Tea. Oft touted as a libido enhancer, we just call it happy tea in this house! A pot in the afternoon or evening really helped to soothe my nervous system. Idk, maybe just not feeling like shit enhances libido? At any rate, it never elicits 'horny' in me, rather just a feeling of wellbeing. This is a great supplier. XO Tea.
    2. Jilungin Tea. Amazing for sleep. This one is potent so experimenting with dose and timing helps. We had it every night for a long time, and now it drink it far less often (also just realised I forgot!). You can reuse the leaves. It's quite bitter! We also used to make a pot with both damiana and jilungin in the evening (early enough to wee it all before bed and late enough to feel sleepy! It's a balance). XO Tea.
    3. Saffron Drops. There was a point where I was extremely worried about my depression. All the things that have always helped... didn't. This did. Naturopath Herbals Online.
    4. Passionflower Extract. Bro, this is disgusting. But holy shit amazing. I just take this one in moments of escalation (versus every day). But when I was in the worst of my anxious body feelings I had a supplement from my naturopath that had passionflower, withania, and licorice and it was the bomb. Naturopath Herbals Online.
    5. Herbs of Gold 'Stress Ease'. This is available in most chemists and is a wonderful support through stressful periods. Stress Ease.
    6. Nosemary. Look, I know how ridiculous this is... but I did it so often we had a name for it! This is just crushing some rosemary and sticking it your nostril 😅. Frankly, some days it was all that kept me sane. In this same vein is nasalvia (nasal salvia)!
    7. Deep Pressure. A lot of folks swear by weighted blankets, but they make me feel claustrophobic. I have found that a weight plate on my chest is AMAZING. If I'm lying down reading, or watching TV, I'd pop a 2kg plate on my chest for a while (idk... 10 minutes? 30? depends on the day. I'd take it off when it felt uncomfortable, leave it on when it felt good). I just used a plate like these because we have them. I did put mine inside a little cushion so it wasn't cold and hard on my skin.
    8. Non-Linear Movement. Ugh, I know. Honestly I almost never do this anymore but frequently recommend it! This is the bottom up part of processing stress, and is really important. 5 minutes a day, even laying down in bed, is super great.
    9. Active Rest. This is not meditation. I recommend non-sleep deep rest (known otherwise as yoga nidra). This is a good video for that, but if you search for yoga nidra and/or non sleep deep rest on spotify or youtube there are many options. Find someone whose voice & vibes you like!Okay, I hate suggesting this podcast now after recently discovering this man's appalling treatment of women (he had 5 or more girlfriends simultaneously, none who knew about the others...) but he really does do good science explaining. I'll have to find a new source, but for now: https://www.hubermanlab.com/topics/nsdr-meditation-and-breathwork
    10. Pennebaker Journal Protocol. You're a writer, so maybe writing will help? But this is a science backed specific protocol. I attached a PDF with more deets.
    11. Luxuriating. I don't share this with anyone because I don't have good language for it yet (but I know you'll get it!) This is consciously expanding into, and luxuriating in relaxation & pleasure. Like when you're super comfy in clean sheets... exaggerating it and rolling around a little, and consciously thinking how comfortable and pleasurable and luxurious the experience is. How safe you feel.
    12. Pain Reprocessing Therapy. This podcast was fucking life changing for me. It completely reshaped my understanding of pain, fatigue, anxiety...the body-mind connection. It transformed my life, and healed my debilitating back pain. no shit. I still get back pain because the issue still exists, BUT I don't get the overreactive locked up escalated agony and days or weeks of recovery. Just the proportionate actual thing. AND I realised that the protocol applied to fatigue and anxiety too! For example if I felt tired I might say (oh god I'm so tired I'm so tired, this must be a fatigue crash) and that would be in my head all day. Then I realised what I ACTUALLY sometimes felt was; dry eyes, very thirsty, a foggy head... WAIT... This is dehydration! Drink water. or headache! Take panadol. Or actually tired! Nap or do NSR. Again, even when it didn't change the actual thing (maybe the pain was still there or the fatigue or anxiety) but it changed my relationship to it, and allowed me to keep it at a proportionate level instead of the magnification loop. Mayim Bialek's Breakdown: Stop Chronic Pain. An interesting side note is that my naturopath (who is a friend of mine also) nodded and smiled at me when I recommended it to her for her back pain, then a week later sent me a teary text because against all expectations it actually helped and was the thing that is happening.
    13. Acupuncture. I didn't do this, but wish I had. Hugely evidence based and a brilliant complement to any approach.
    14. Sensory Rest. Some time with a blindfold and earmuffs/plugs each day really helped me properly rest.
    Info Sheets. I'm building a reference library, I have these conversations so frequently with clients! It's here, feel free to access or share. https://drive.proton.me/urls/E6GDJA5GJ4#AsMxySHbXMOd
    Also, I don't actually know how to access this suggestion because it's very specific, but I do think about it a lot. Like... how can anyone have this experience? Anyhoo what I'm trying to say is that the first thing that actually fully reset my body was when I got a large tattoo (stick with me here). It was 6 hours of low grade manageable pain that I had chosen, and it triggers a release of endorphins in the body. Many people report this experience! So I'm not saying get a tattoo. I've also read a lot of people have the same sense of release after BDSM play, and that many folks with chronic pain find impact play to be very healing. Like crops, smacks, paddles, etc. Not so much for the erotic aspect, but the choosing of manageable pain alongside the endorphin release.
    AND not sure how perimenopause/ menopause is treating you, but heightened anxiety is a very common symptom. I highly recommend Maisie Hill's books Perimenopause Power: Navigating Your Hormones on the Journey to Menopause, and Period Power: Harness Your Hormones and Get Your Cycle Working For You (I wish I'd read these decades ago). I also just saw she has a new one which might be highly relevant! I'd never have bought it from the title but I am a huge fan of her work so I'll grab that on Kindle now. Powerful: Be the Expert in Your Own Life.
     
    Okay, that got so long.
    But also here's the list I promised you of the supplements I take daily (with no explanation cause I'm explanationed out... but another day!)
    • Tyrosine (dopamine precursor)
    • Taurine (Taurine supplementation associated with exercise improved lipid metabolism through the modulation of genes related to mitochondrial activity and fatty acid oxidation). This shifted me to actually start losing a little weight, most importantly because my metabolism improved).
    • Acetyl L-Carnitine (Acetyl-L-Carnitine plays an essential role in fatty acid metabolism, helping to transport long-chain fatty acids across cellular membranes and into the mitochondria to be used in the production of energy. This process allows the body to burn fat as fuel.)
    • R Alpha Lipoic Acid (Alpha-lipoic acid is an antioxidant that is made naturally in the body and also found in foods. It is used to break down carbohydrates and to make energy.)
    • CoQ10 (a mitochondrial nutrient which acts as an essential cofactor for the production of ATP in mitochondria and which displays significant antioxidant activities, often suggested for CFS/ME)
    • B Vitamins
    • Saffron Drops
    • Electrolyte Capsules