Practical Relationship Advice

In these blogs, articles, & essays you will find practical relationship advice and insights on a wide range of relational challenges.

I write about my current & evolving thinking on different aspects of relationships and how they are changing, as well as sharing practical tools and tips that you can immediately implement.

two dads and their baby lying on a blanket

Understanding the 4 Attachment Styles: An Overview of Their Impact on Your Relationships

Tara Thomas and Kia Handley unpack the hot topic of attachment theory, and how our early relationships shape the way we connect with others. Attachment styles aren’t just a fad; they’re the blueprint of how we relate.

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a woman holding plaster over her face

Cultivating Emotional Self Awareness: Tools for a More Insightful Life

Emotional self-awareness is the foundation of building your emotional intelligence (EQ). It means you can recognize, understand, and effectively respond to emotional information about yourself and those around you.

Emotional self-awareness is the key skill in EQ because having a solid grasp of your emotions underpins all the other aspects of emotional intelligence.

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Unlocking Interoception: Mind-Body Exercises for Deeper Relationships

Cultural conditioning trains us to ignore the messages from our bodies, which fucks our self-confidence and compels us to look for answers outside ourselves. Rebuilding this connection is crucial for reclaiming our agency. This blog unpacks the role of interoception in relationships and introduces practical mind-body exercises designed to develop and deepen your emotional connections.

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Dealing With Passive Aggressive Behaviour

Nothing is more frustrating than the low key buzz of passive aggressive behaviour. Like, did they really just fucking say that?! And what do I do now? Tara Thomas & Kia Handley talk about how to navigate the PAP (Passive Aggressive People). LOL. I just made that up.

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Brave Woman at Protest to Dismantle Patriarchy

Love in the Messy Middle: 10 Ways to Dismantle Patriarchy in Your Relationship/s

Many of us feel emotional & cognitive dissonance between our commitment to social justice, while still having to navigate the realities of the world we *actually* live in. This is especially apparent in the relational dynamics with friends, family, and partner/s.

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Boundary Breakdown: An Introduction to Boundaries for Beginners

Boundaries has become a real buzzword in popular psychology, and these days in almost all of my client intakes someone cites “boundaries” as one of their issues. But what the fuck does that even mean? In this introduction to boundaries we look at defining boundaries, common challenges, and identifying your strengths & gaps.

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a close up of a book titled rules and regulations

Boundaries Versus Rules: Navigating Cooperative Power

Boundaries versus rules is an important distinction when we navigate power dynamics within relationships. A boundary is about power within me to make my decisions. A rule is about power over your decisions.

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Fluorescent colored cubes stacked with social media icons.

Is Social Media In Relationships Helping or Hurting?

With social media omnipresent in our lives, how can we keep our sense of agency in the way we use them? And is social media in relationships a force of good, or evil? Tara Thomas and Kia Handley discuss the impact of social media in intimate relationships. [Includes audio & full transcript]

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How to Stop the Arguing Before It Even Starts: The Traffic Light Tool

How to Stop the Arguing (Before It Even Starts): The Traffic Light Tool

We’ve all been there before, a spicy conversation leads to escalating tensions and suddenly IT’S ON.

This tool is designed to help you increase self awareness, handle emotional stress, and learn how to stop the arguing when conversations get spicy.

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Defining Relationship Roles: Escaping Relational Fuckery

Relationship roles are rarely explicitly defined- most couples fall into roles that draw from the best & worst of their family histories. Those roles aren’t reviewed strategically, and are only discussed when frustration or resentment trigger an argument (or ongoing conflict).

Most of these challenges are created by poorly defined or disputed roles.

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Tara Thomas

Hey, I'm Tara, relationship coach & couples therapist.

I'm definitely a weirdo, and have never traveled a conventional path-
It sucks because the world isn't designed for misfits, sometimes it's myself I'm rebelling against, and being a weirdo can be lonely.

I swear a lot, think life is too short to waste on drama & bullshit, and dream of a world where we ALL belong.