FAQ

Relationship coaches and marriage counsellors share many of the same tools & techniques.

The key difference is the training of each practitioner, the school of therapy that informs their approach, and the requirements of professional bodies for registration and supervision. In Australia, relationship coaches do not have a regulating body, nor requirements for registration or supervision.

Marriage counsellors do have a regulating body, and membership requires registration and supervision but those things aren't necessary to practice.

Having said that, my commitment to professionalism and high standards means that I continually participate in ongoing education, and seek out mentoring.

I've written more about this here: Spilling the Tea on Relationship Coaches, Marriage Counsellors, Psychologists, and Psychotherapists

I take an experimental approach, incorporating movement alongside curious conversations to guide partner/s & individuals to discover their own unique dynamics.

I'm committed to partner/s therapy that is;

• explorative, not presciptive
• about skills building, not person fixing
• highlights & leverages strengths

The relationship coaching methods I use are primarily influenced & informed by the following therapeutic approaches;

• Integrative Systemic Therapy
• The Doherty Approach
• Alice Haemmerle's Client Code™
• Somatic Modalities- The Non-Linear Movement Method and Movement Koān

I began my learning in 2013 with my early studies at The Coaching Institute. 

These days I feel conflicted about even referencing them, it is a deeply disturbing environment that employs cult-like approaches to personal development. This causes great harm to many students; financially, mentally, and emotionally.

I personally experienced some great harms as both a student and an employee, AND I also received deep insights and powerful education. It changed the course of my life.

I still use some frameworks, and tools that I learned from TCI, but I have a very different approach to coaching. I don't vibe with the massive change overnight, spiritual bypassing "manifest your destiny", or pull yourself up by the bootstraps models of thinking.

In 2015 I joined a group where I was mentored by Alice Haemmerle who has been one of the greatest influences on not just my work, but in my life. Alice is where I saw the living model of coaching from love. That group had a deep and long lasting impact on me and some of my dearest friends are people I met through that program. I was part of that program for a few years.

Since 2019 I have been directly taught by Michaela Boehm, & Steve James, in the specific contexts of the Non-Linear Movement Method Teacher Training (Levels 1 and 2), The Wild Woman's Way Teacher Training, and ongoing annual women's study groups. Their approach to teaching & facilitating has heavily influenced my orientation to my client work.

I've directly worked with anticapitalist coach Bear Hebert, who has been a guiding light for me in business & marketing. Their support in private coaching sessions, in their free self-paced course Freely; An Anti-Capitalist Guide to Pricing Your Work, their group marketing course Marketing for Weirdos, and their written work & videos, has deeply inspired me and informs my work. I continue to work with Bear as my business coach.

I have indirectly learned from (through online workshops and certifications); Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Instant Insight Communication Systems™, Nkem Ndefo & Rae Johnson, Bear Hebert,  Dr Alexandra Solomon, The Doherty Institute, Dara Hoffman-Fox's Trans-Affirming Therapists Academy, and Esther Perel's Sessions Platform.

I am informed & inspired by published work, online education, and content from;  Brené Brown, , Martha Kauppi, Esther Perel,  Dr Alexandra Solomon, Ian Kerner, Stephen Porges, Peter Levine, Dean Spade, The Centre for Humane Technology, and more.

This is by no means a full accounting - I'm a voracious learner and read & listen to a lot of influences.

Let me position myself so you can be clearer on whether I am a good fit;

I am a white, married, middle-class, cis, bi, able bodied, neuro diverse (ADHD) woman, living with chronic fatigue.

I invite people of all intersections who feel like my approach & style is a good fit for them. There are many couples therapists from many backgrounds with varied levels of expertise. I'm always happy to work with you to find the right fit for relationship coaching for you,  and make to referrals to other therapists - connecting you with support is the most important thing.

A good way to establish whether we are a good fit, is for us to have a chat on the phone. You will get a better sense of how I am, and have an opportunity to ask any questions. I will be able to get clear on whether your challenges fit with my skillset, and we can decide whether to work together or I may refer you to someone I think is a better fit.

I am not a psychologist, counsellor, nor a trauma therapist.

If you are navigating issues including active untreated addiction, acute mental illness, or complex psychological issues, then I am not the best fit for you.

While relationship coaching will address the relational aspects of issues that arise from the above, individuals also require specific treatment with a therapist who has expertise in those areas.

AND it's important to note that one of the key indicators for longterm recovery or management of these issues is the quality of an individuals relationships. From this perspective couples therapy is a crucial part of addressing those issues!

A good way to establish whether we are a good fit, is for us to have a chat on the phone. You will get a better sense of how I am, and have an opportunity to ask any questions. I will be able to get clear on whether your challenges fit with my skillset, and we can decide whether to work together or I may refer you to someone I think is a better fit.

I've adapted this framework from Dara Hoffman-Fox's Trans-Affirming Therapist Academy worksheet... which was inspired by "Kink Awareness Definitions" from Kink Aware Professionals!

The definitions here are quoted directly from Dara HF in reference to Nonbinary awareness, which I've applied to other social identities.

Friendly - "Provider has a rudimentary knowledge of identity, but not an in-depth knowledge. They are open-minded, non-judgmental, and accepting. Therapist has only general knowledge about this population, but desires to learn more."

Aware - "Provider has a more refined knowledge of concepts and population. Has researched and learned terminology and area specific issues. Has more than likely provided professional services to this population."

Knowledgeable - "Provider has extensive knowledge of the population and the concepts involved. They have a thorough understanding of the varied issues affecting the community and its individuals. They have provided professional services to multiple individuals in this population".

And I've added;

Affirming  - This term overlaps somewhat with all the above terms because it means open-minded, non-judgemental, and accepting. I've used it to indicate those things very quickly at a glance for folks who aren't familiar with the other terms and don't click through to read more.

I currently assess myself to be;

LGBTQIA+ Affirming & Aware · Consensual Non-monogamy Affirming & Knowledgeable (including Polyamory, Open Relationships, The Lifestyle, and more) · Trans/Gender-Nonconforming/Non-Binary Affirming & Aware · Kink/BDSM Affirming & Friendly · Neurodiversity Affirming & Knowledgeable (ASD, ADHD)